It's January 2nd, 2013 (or was when I began this post). I never really do New Years Resolutions because I know I'll never make for 12 months! But if I did they would be these.
I hereby resolve to:
- Not try to have the kitchen clean before bed.
- Not try to lose the remaining baby weight.
- Not try to finish the laundry the day I start it.
- Not try to exercise regularly.
- etc.
I only have three kids. I know many people who have more. But somehow three has absolutely forced me to give up. Things have had to slide with each new addition to our family, but with three it's turned into a general landslide. I'm still clinging to a hope that I'll be exercising and seeing a clean living room (for more than 5 minutes anyway) before I turn 30. For now, it's more of realizing which things I've been adamant about because it's what our family needs versus what Mom wants. The kids couldn't care less about any of the things I've listed above. Jay, while he does appreciate cleanliness, would much rather have a cheerful wife ready to spend time with him than see me accomplish the above list. I've realized many of my to-do's are on my list because of either 1) need for sense of accomplishment and capability, 2) need to prove myself to...someone 3) or to escape from difficulties faced when living in such close proximity to other humans. Even as I write this, I still really want to do all those things! But at this stage, trying to do any of those on a regular basis means pushing someone else aside. Just this morning I was begging the kids for "just 5 more minutes to FINISH this, please!" I am a finisher, I can hardly stand to start something and not finish it sans interruption. But the kids and the general feeling in the house starts turning sour faster than you can... clean the bathroom.
Instead of New Year's Resolutions, I think I'll turn to New Year's Prayers.
I pray that God will
- Help me maintain the right priorities. Love God wholeheartedly, and love my little neighbors and big neighbors as myself. (Matt 22:38-39)
- Grow me in patience, long-suffering, that I may have a gentle answer that turns away wrath (Prov 15:1)
- Mold me into a mom who is "holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of [my children, husband's, neighbor's, friends'] faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all." (Ephe 2:17) ...especially the being poured out as a drink offering part. I often feel "poured out" in the service of my children but then forget that "to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God... is your spiritual worship." (Romans 12:1 ESV)
This past year has been a completely different year than the rest of my life. Though it had some major trials, there were some abundant blessings, too. Check the soon-coming post about all that if you haven't heard it already. (Oh, and NYR #5 is to Not try to write a blog post regularly - I'm already good at that one)
Happy New Year!
