Suffering... it's very easy to see around a hospital. While holding Zoe, I hear a doctor tell a mom her newborn had a large stroke during birth. A mom tells me her baby has an unknown sydrome and the doctors don't know how she is going to live. A young boy passes pushing an IV stand with multiple bags hanging from it. A couple walks by wiping their eyes. The skywalks are thick with "in memory of" signs. It's all so, so sad. Walking across the skywalk I watch a motorcyclist drive off the road and do a complete cartwheel in the air before hitting the ground inches away from his large motorcycle. (no injuries, praise God!) My own baby faces near death situations (or they would be if not for the nurses) every day. I've never felt such a longing for Christ to come and make this world right again! "When we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be! When we all see Jesus, we'll sing and shout the victory!" So I am definitely looking forward to Christ's perfect kingdom. But in the meantime, what do I think, or what do I say to those other NICU moms? Sometimes I feel like I look too happy in the NICU. Like other moms are going to think "her baby must be perfect, why is she here?" I have always struggled with showing, and even feeling compassion or sympathy. But God is using our experience with Zoe to change that.
(That's from two months ago, but only now getting posted. It was going to be a long post, but is part of the past now, so I'll just leave it at that.)
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